The month of December was one of the most difficult and most beautiful months of my life. It was filled with much darkness, but much more light. It began on December 1st with the news that my grandmother passed away. The days following were filled with many tears, joy, laughter, and sadness as I remembered and mourned the loss of my Nana without having my family to comfort me and without being there to comfort my family. In the midst of my pain, I drew close to Jesus and He drew close to me. I spent a lot of time in the chapel in front of the blessed sacrament. It was there, face to face with Jesus, that I consistently felt the most peace, joy, and love. However, that sense of peace, joy, and love did not cease as soon as I left the chapel. Instead, I felt surrounded by it throughout everyday here at the Finca. I felt it in the sunrises and sunsets over the ocean. I felt it in the hugs I received from the kids. I felt it in my community who walked with me so gently and who sat beside me as I watched my Nana's funeral via livestream. I felt it in the voices of all the kids belting out Christmas songs during Posadas. I felt it in the excitement and gratitude of the kids during the Christmas and New Year Eve parties. Jesus was revealing Himself to me through the peace, joy, and love I felt in all those little things. Jesus was all around me. He was closer than I thought.
On New Year's Eve, after a night filled with delicious food, minute to win it games, a dance party, and a movie and popcorn in the campo, all of the kids, wrapped in blankets, rubbing sleep from their eyes, gathered around an altar in the campo under the stars. We began the prayer in darkness and one by one spoke aloud a prayer of thanksgiving and a prayer of petition for the New Year. As we went along, we slowly passed the flame from one person to the next, until everyone's faces were illumined by candle light. As I looked around at each of the faces illumined in the darkness, I saw the face of Jesus. There He was once again in the faces of each of these kids He has placed in my life. Any moments of darkness I have felt from homesickness, challenges of daily life here, anxieties, and sadness from the loss of my grandmother pale in comparison to the light that Jesus shines through all of the children here. "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." - John 1:5
I pray that as the Lord shines His light into our lives this year, we can see, recognize, and draw close to His light. Feliz año nuevo from the Finca!
Hi Kenna, we miss you so much. It sounds like you are loving the experience and growing closer with Jesus. I texted you after your Nana passed, but I don't think you received it. I am so sorry for your loss . Your Nana was such a warm and loving person. I know she is so proud of you. We all love you and miss you. Reese headed back to Scotland today. Hugs Aunt Kellie